Here’s my tribute to the late Mitch Hedberg. Check out his CDs!
“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order’ sign, just ‘Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.’”
“If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”
“I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish-ke-bobs. It screwed me up for soccer — I thought you had to kick the ball and spin around.”
“Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out flyers. And when someone tries to hand me out a flyer, it’s kinda like they’re saying, ‘Here — you throw this away.’”